Hell in Heaven
by destielintheimpala67
Summary: Castiel has fallen from grace along with the rest of the angels and the pain is unbearable. He is given the choice to turn over his loved ones and save Heaven or to fight Metatron for it until they all die. Destiel
1. Chapter 1

Supernatural and its characters are not mine

"My God, Cas! How long does it take a guy to shower?" Dean groaned through the bathroom door, although it was likely his voice didn't carry over the sound of the water beating on the floor.

He tapped his finger against the olive wall, in rhythm with the drumming of the drops. "I know you're some pretty boy ex-angel an all, but unlike you, the rest of us need to actually put an effort into our appearance."

The white door swung open in an instant and a different Castiel stepped out than the one who had entered the washroom nearly an hour ago. This one was cleaner and quieter. The freshly- made human Dean and Sam had rushed into the bathroom earlier with numerous gashes covering his body accompanied by black bruises along his ribs and the most terrifying moans.

"As soon as I clean up we can had out for breakfast and then we'll get you situated, okay?" Castiel seemed to have heard Dean's words but didn't bother looking up at him.

Dean took Castiel's face in his hands and raised his head so that their eyes met. "It'll be fine, Cas. I've got you." He took the broken man in his arms. Cas buried his face in Dean's shoulder before breaking away and crossing to the bedroom.

Puddles filled Dean's eyes but he didn't dare let them travel any further than that. _Cas will be fine. He will. We'll get this all figured out and he'll be fine. _A voice in his head repeated thousands of times. But still he didn't know how to believe this voice. What did it know? How was there any way to know that just because Cas was alive that somehow mean the was fine? What was "fine" anymore?

Not wanting to dig around the topic any longer in his mind, Dean slammed the bathroom door behind him and let his clothes fall to the cold gray tiles. The pitter- patter of the water felt warm and inviting against his body and he let it surround him. His eyes shut and he succumbed to allowing the water to take over his thoughts. As the water fell in streams down his face and his back, he felt more relaxed than he had in ages. The time slipped away from Dean and he barely noticed it until the water was no longer hot, but rather icy cold.

He wondered just how long he had actually been in the shower and then felt bad for nagging at Cas previously. It wasn't as if he hadn't left the after running longer than he should plenty of times before.

What he really couldn't keep himself from wondering about was whether he would be able to deal with trying to help Cas accommodate to the human lifestyle. _One more damn body to have to look out for. _He thought.

The familiar footsteps of another person coming towards the bathroom caused Dean to hurriedly shut off the awter, wrap a towel around his frame and exit the steamy bathroom.

"Sorry, I just sort of-"Dean searched for words but Sam nodded at him as if he understood what Dean was trying to say so he gave up his sentence.

"So what are you thinking?' A look of confusion crossed Dean's face. "About Cas? What are we gonna do now that he's..you know..human?" Sam asked.

"How the hell am I supposed to know? I say we just make it up on the way and see what happens."

Sam laughed mockingly at Dean's suggestion. "Yeah, because that's worked out great every time we did that in the past!" he replied.

"Well what other option do we have, Sam? What are we supposed to do? Go begging for his grace back? Heaven itself has collapsed!" his fists pounded against the wall. He pushed past Sam and walked to his bedroom where he shut his door with enough force to put a crack in it.

"Dean, you need to quit avoiding this sometime! We have to actually deal with it!" Sam yelled.

Two hours later, a more lively Dean opened the driver's side door of his Impala and slid in. He still hadn't said anything to Sam about plans for Castiel. The idea of not knowing what was next scared the shit out of him and he wasn't sure he was ready to face it.

Contrary to normality, Castiel picked the front passenger's seat next to Dean, mostly likely because when he was near Dean he felt very safe. Dean was like a warm, fuzzy blanket that he could bury himself in and hide from all the monsters in his head. He debated whether to be social, to show Dean that his fall hadn't made him an emotionless robot, but decided he was too tired to say anything and that words were useless. They just took up awkward spaces.

The Impala smoothly turned and filled up a vacant parking space in front of a lonely looking diner. "They have a special today. It's called eat something now that you're human and you wont starve!" Dean said jokingly to Castiel, although his eyes proved he was serious. Castiel managed a small smile. He knew that Dean wanted to just get this over with as quickly as possible. Dean wanted the whole process of angel to human to go silky and smooth without conflict, but that was inevitable. "I know- I know you aren't really used to hunger or desire to eat anything, but soon you will be. So for now just get something small and try to enjoy it." Dean's hand intertwined itself with Castiel's for a second but quickly let it go.

Castiel stopped suddenly in front of the glass door of the diner as if he expected it to open by itself, to which Sam rolled his eyes and pushed past Castiel to open it. "You're going to have to open doors yourself, now, Princess." Sam laughed.

"Howdy, boys! I'm Katherine and I'll be your server today! If you'll follow me, I'll seat you. Table for three?" a young woman with a much-too-effervescent- to- be- real attitude asked Sam as Cas and Dean entered the establishment.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks." Sam replied, although his wandering eyes showed that he wasn't particularly interested in what she was saying.

Once they were seated, Katherine placed three crystal glasses frilled to the brim with water around the table and took out three menus. "Here are your menus, I'll be back in a little bit to take your orders." She smiled and turned on her heel and left them alone.

Except for Castiel, Sam and Dean, the restaurant was seemingly vacant. "Weird. It's a Sunday. Usually these places are filled with church- goers and old people by now." Dean commented.

"Yeah. I guess it's easier for us this way?" Sam said questioningly. Castiel excused himself from the table and rushed himself to the bathroom after explaining he didn't feel well.

Castiel's head felt as if it was on fire. The burning sensation spread to his arms, chest and legs and his knees buckled. The broken man fell to his knees on the floor, struggling not to scream out in pain. He wasn't sure if this was a natural thing that humans went through or if it was a side effect of his wings burning off.

He crawled over to the wall and pressed his back against its cool surface and let out a sigh of relief. There was a knock on the door immediately followed by Dean barging into the bathroom. Apparently Castiel hadn't quite managed to keep himself from crying out from pain.

"Cas, what's the matter?" Dean asked, panicked.

"It's- it's nothing. I'm fine. Probably just.. after effects, you know?" Cast replied and Dean nodded but held his arm out to touch Castiel and comfort him. But when he touched Cas, his hand burned like he had just stuck it in an oven.

"Shit, Cas! What the hell is going on?" Dean yelped.

"I'm not sure. I think it-it's probably just.. .." Instead of finishing his sentence, Castiel pointed to his back pathetically. Dean turned Cas around and lifted the back of his shirt up to reveal two black burn marks where he assumed Castiel's wings were. When he saw them he gasped and almost bumped into the wall.

"Why-why didn't you tell me about this? How long has this pain been going on?" Dean asked.

"Well.. that was why I was in the shower for so long… it- it hurts all the time, Dean!" Castiel cried.

"Hey it's okay, we'll fix it. We'll make the pain go away." Dean assured him.

"NO! Not just the physical pain, but knowing what I did. How many lives I destroyed. Heaven's crashed and there isn't anything I can do now. This puny vessel has nothing more to offer!" he screamed, almost spitting in Dean's face.

Dean sat Castiel down and pulled him closer. Castiel's tears stained Dean's navy blue shirt and Dean himself almost broke out into soft tears. "Cas- Cas, it'll be okay. We're going to be okay. Just- let me help you. I'm going to help you."

Castiel didn't reply but laid his head on Dean's shoulder and let it rest there for awhile before he looked up into Dean's strong but fearful green eyes. They were beautiful, like little planets. He felt as if they were swallowing him. Castiel felt something, something he wasn't able to identify. But instead of trying to figure out what it was, he let his lips touch the tips of Dean's before wrapping his arms around Dean's neck and pushing him against the bathroom wall. Dean's hands cupped Castiel's face and let his tongue venture into Castiel's mouth and collide with his. They pressed their chests together and let their bodies become one. Dean didn't understand, but it made him feel so good. So alive, it made him genuinely happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Supernatural and its characters are not mine

CHAPTER TWO

Dean pulled away and a childish smile spread across his face. His smile was like a rainbow of bright colors splashed against a canvas that had long been blank and in need of a streak of colors. "I thought you were indifferent to sexual orientation?" he laughed and Cas smiled in return.

"That was then, Dean. When I was an angel of the Lord. Not that this necessarily means anything about my sexual orientation as a human. To answer the question that is no doubt lingering in your mind, I'm assuming that since I have no attraction to women, this makes me gay." He smiled shyly. It was so cute when he tried to understand himself as a human.

Dean nodded understanding. "Yeah, I guess it does. Castiel looked at him, suddenly wonderous.

"Wait- what. What does this mean to you? Now that we've….become close in other terms?" He asked Dean.

"Cas, I've always loved you. But this is different than before. I always thought of you as a pain in the ass little brother, but now. Its different. I still love you. Just more." Dean knew this was how he felt about Cas. He really did love him. He didn't know if Cas would think of him as a weirdo now or what, but he didn't care.

"I love you too, Dean. It's of import that I tell you this now. I really love you." Dean smiled and pressed his lips lightly against Castiel's one more time before taking Castiel's hand in his own and lifting him up to his feet.

"This is going to be hard. But I'll be there for you the whole way through, babe." Dean said. Both of their eyes met and locked onto each other, as if they were speaking to each other without words. They didn't need words.

"I'm just going to freshen up now and I'll be out. Are we still going to eat or would that be weird?" Castiel asked.

"I'll tell the waitress we'll be another minute or so and you can come out when you're ready, okay?" Dean looked at Castiel and gave him a once over before redirecting his attention to Castiel's face, trying to read it.

"Yeah, I'll see you in a minute!"

Dean winked at Cas and exited the bathroom.

The cool water felt amazing against Castiel's face. Even though he had felt much better after Dean comforted him, his face was still burning red and his cheeks were puffy from tears. He grabbed a white towel and dragged it across his face in every which way. The mirror before him showed a smiling, happy man. Although that was who Castiel wanted to be, it wasn't anyone he thought he could ever be. Happiness was an illusion that fools dreamed of. In his life, it didn't matter who or what he was. He would never be able to stop fighting the pain. Wherever he went, it followed

When Castiel returned to their dining table, the waitress, Katherine was telling Dean and Sam the day's specials. "We have the garlic and tomato soup and cherry pie!" Cas saw Dean's face light up when Katherine mentioned pie.

"I'll skip lunch and just go straight for the pie, sweetheart." Dean said.

An annoying feeling filled Castiel. It was ridiculous, but he was. Dean was attractive and could get anyone to fall head over heels (or in Cas' case, wings) for him, including Castiel, but Castiel was just some lonely ex angel with nothing much to offer but his loyalty. Dean seemed to see that this action had bothered Cas so he gave him a joking flirtatious wink.

Cas smiled and looked down at his feet. The speckled tiles were suddenly spinning in circles and before he knew it, his body hit the floor with a thump! "CAS?!CAS!" Dean screamed. Sam grabbed ahold of Castiel and placed Castiel's right arm around his shoulder and Dean did the same with Castiel's left. "There's never any damn pie! This is just awesome!" was the last thing Castiel heard.

The familiar smell of cats and beer that flowed throughout his house entered Castiel's nose. He stirred for a minute before attempting to sit up but falling right back down on his side. A fit of coughs escaped his mouth and almost instantly Dean rushed to his aid. "I'm-" Castiel paused to cough, afraid he would cough up his organs "-I'm fine. It's okay." Dean knew Castiel was lying but didn't want to bother him so he just gripped his hand and rubbed it. They sat there staring blankly into each other's eyes before Sam walked into the room and Dean quickly let his hand escape from Castiel's.

"Hey! You're awake!" Sam rejoiced.

"Yeah, it's probably just a slight symptom." He explained.

"Right." Sam replied.

Worry lines spread across Dean's tan forehead because he knew that Sam was very unaware of the pain Castiel was in and Castiel wanted to keep it that way.

"I'm gonna go fix you some soup. We'll talk about this when you're fed and well." Sam's boots heavily hit the floor without him trying as he left to fix the soup.

"Are we going to tell him about the pain and us and everything or do you just expect to keep this all a secret?" Dean hissed, sounding more blaming than he meant. Castiel looked confused and hurt, like some sort of lost kitty. "I'm sorry, Cas. But. This is a lot. What we're going through. I just want to figure it all out." Dean explained. As usual, Castiel didn't reply but just looked at Dean to show he was paying attention. What the hell was he supposed to say? 'Yeah it'll all be rainbows and ponies and everything will be okay'?

"Dean, please. Calm down. We'll figure something out. If what-" Castiel drew a large breath in "- if what we feel for each other is real, we'll find the right time and tell him. But that's not the biggest problem on our hands right now." Although Dean was paying attention to the words pouring out of Castiel's mouth, he was by far more interested in Castiel's pain.

"I know that near the beginning you were sure you could fight this pain, whatever it is. But, after the restaurant incident, I just don't think it's a good idea for you to try to simply block it out by yourself."

Castiel frowned. "Dean are you implying that I can't deal with my own problems? Has the change in my grace really caused me to come across as that weak?" Even though Castiel tried to act angry and tough, Dean could see that behind his harsh words was just a scared ex- angel. Dean's warm hands enclosed around Castiel's dry hands and he craned his neck down to kiss Castiel's cheek.

"I know you're strong, honey. This is just a really big job. I don't want you to- you're just not an angel anymore, Cas. You're not invincible. Do you know how long I lie awake at night worrying that the next hunt might be the one that kills you?" Gradually his words became angrier and his eyes became red with the tears he held back. "I need you to open up to me. Tell me what's going on. The pain isn't just random, Cas. And if you have any of what is causing this, please. Please. Tell me." Dean pleaded.

The cushions squeaked beneath them, the weight obviously a little too much for the couch. Castiel ran his fingers along the scratchy surface of the fabric and let them gently rest on Dean's thigh. "It's a new thing for me, too. Sort of." He didn't know whether to tell Dean what had been going on behind everyone's back. If he truly loved him, and cared for him, he'd tell Dean straight away. But telling him also meant putting Dean at further risk of harm than he already was. "I don't know what it is." He lied. The easiness of it all, of letting the words slither out of his mouth was scary. Scary that it took so little to deceive Dean. Yet Dean nodded, assuming he could trust Cas.

"We should let Sammy in on this. He deserves it."

Castiel nodded.

"Let me in on what?" Sam asked as he entered the living room with a bowl of piping hot soup. His eyes traveled down and settled on Castiel's hand, peacefully resting on Dean's thigh. The intense look in their eyes gave off the impression that something was on between them behind-the-scences, something they didn't apparently want to let Sam in on. "Guys, what's going on?"


	3. Chapter 3

Supernatural and its characters are not mine

CHAPTER THREE

Dean's eyes looked alarmed but filled with relief when Sam added, "What did you want to let me in on?"

"Cas, do you want me to tell him or would you prefer to?" Sam was confused by the way Dean talked to Cas. Castiel leaned over to whisper something in Dean's ear followed by Dean nodding his approval. It felt like fourth grade all over again. Being left out of conversations while others whispered and giggled to each other. He was always left out on the major details and was always left wanting to find them out.

"Earlier in the restaurant I collapsed because ever since I fell, something has been going on with my vessel. My body, I mean. Where my…"

Sam saw Dean squeeze Castiel's hand, but he didn't look to see if Sam had noticed and was instead focused on Castiel. Dean's eyes trailed up and down Cas' body.

"The spot where my wings were. They sort of. Have this burning sensation. And it spreads throughout my entire body. I get so weak, I just lose it. Like in the restaurant. I feel fatigued and everything is on fire. Sometimes I feel like someone is manually ripping my body apart."

The symptoms sounded severe to Sam but Castiel showed no fear of the symptoms themselves.

"We- we're trying to figure out the culprit of the pain, but I believe it may just be an after- effect of losing my grace. Like PTSD for ex- angels, you know?"

No, Sam didn't 'know'. He nodded anyways. "So..how long has this been happening?"

Castiel was now looking Sam square in the eyes and sighed before answering. "A few months. It started about a week after I fell. I didn't want to tell you because I assumed that I could deal with the pain on my own. Evidently, that is not true. However, if we can put up with the pain for a little while longer, I am sure I will be 'normal' in a short period of time."

Dean's eyes pulled away for the first time in about twenty minutes to look at Sam. They conversed through their eyes. "Do you believe him?" Sam's eyes seemed to say.

"Why wouldn't I?" Dean's replied.

"I think we should talk to Garth about it. If you're comfortable with that, Cas." Sam suggested.

"He is the present equivalent of Bobby, I suppose." Castiel replied.

"Alright." Dean smiled a very fake, plastered smile.

"Great! So we'll call Garth tomorrow and head over to wherever the hell he is and see if he can find out anything."

For some reason, Dean had large doubts that Garth would know anything about what was happening to Castiel. They hadn't exactly gathered the entire 411 on angel illnesses.

"I'm gonna go lay down. You guys- um-just. Yeah. I'll be in my room." Sam said awkwardly.

After Sam had reached the doorknob to his room, Dean looked at Castiel. "You able to stand up?" he asked, holding his arms out so that Castiel could grab them if he needed help.

"I think so." Castiel turned his body so that his feet were planted on the floor and slowly his shaky body stood and straightened itself up. Castiel placed his arm around Dean's side and let him guide their way to the master bedroom. "Wait- I'm confused. Are we going to sleep?"

Dean chuckled at how adorable Castiel's innocence was. "We can if you want to."

Castiel shook his head.

"I was thinking…we could just sort of lay down and talk and see where we end up. Unless you aren't into the chick flick crap. Whatever you want." Dean said.

They hadn't even entered the bedroom and Castiel was kissing Dean's neck. "Sounds good to me." He murmured. His lips trailed up the hunter's flesh, occasionally giving a little bite at which Dean smiled.

"We haven't even opened the door yet, babe. Besides, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"I don't really care. You're worth it." Cas replied.

"You don't know that." Dean countered, frowning. He didn't really have much self confidence. He didn't know why anyone would think he was worth much.

"No, but I'm sure you are." They walked into the master bedroom and didn't bother to shut the door.

Dean hooked his arms around Castiel's waist and his back hit the door, shutting it. He freed one of his hands and reached it behind his back to lock the door. No need to have Sam walk in on whatever might happen.

"You have hidden plans, Dean?" Castiel joked.

"Not yet." Dean pulled Castiel closer, until their legs were intertwined and their torsos mashed against each other. "I don't want to ruin your purity unless it really means something to you." When Dean said that he immediately thought of 2014!Cas. The carelessness and loss of hope he held was shocking. He was sex- driven and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Dean, I understand that I have just recently shown my feelings for you. However, this doesn't mean that I hadn't already recognized them. Unless you are not comfortable with this, I am and-" Castiel was interrupted by Dean's hand placing itself on his ass. "A-and I know I'm new to this, but as I understand, it is a way to show you're love for another being, I want this. I want you. I have for awhile." Cas' words stumbled out of his mouth, like he wasn't sure whether to say them or not.

"I promised you that you wouldn't die a virgin, and I owe that to you." Dean winked at Castiel.

"You do."

"Which is why when the time is right I will let you redeem that. But I just don't think that we should- we. Cas." Dean rubbed his eyes. This was fucking frustrating. "Damn it! Cas- if we get too involved.. I just.. seeing you get hurt will be even harder. I love you, damn it. And." He groaned.

Castiel knew that Dean just wanted to keep them from being too close because if they did get close, it would just be an even bigger challenge to separate. Instead of obeying Dean, he slipped his hands into Dean's back pockets and kissed him, hard. "Quit worrying, Dean. That's my job."

Dean smiled in between kisses. "Fine. You win. For now. But I swear to god-" Cas wouldn't let him say anymore. Castiel sucked on Dean's tongue, its sweet flavor spreading onto Castiel's. Being with Dean was amazing. Dean was the wings he wish he still had.

Castiel took a hold of Dean's hand and led him to the king- sized bed. The next hour was the most fascinating thing that either of them had ever experienced. They were raw. And there was nothing that blocked them from being as close as they could possibly be. Their clothes, stripped and laying at the side of the bed. Their tongues twisted around each other as their cocks rubbed against each other. Castiel was silently having the time of his life while Dean lay beneath him, groaning, trying to be as quiet as he could, not wanting Sam to hear. This would be a bad way to come out to Sam about his relationship with Cas.

"Christ, Cas. When- how?!" Dean asked, panting when Castiel had finally removed his body from on top of Dean's and walked over to the closet, feeling an immediate need to re-cloth his body.

Castiel smiled. "I told you. I learned it from the pizza man."

Dean couldn't help himself. He burst out into laughter. "When you're not being all serious and stuff… you're just so fucking adorable."

The room was quiet for a few minutes while both of them got dressed up again and left their room, hand in hand, to go fix a very late dinner. Their "together time" in the master bedroom had taken up a bit more time than they had originally thought it would.

Sam heard the rattling of pots and pans and left his room to find both Dean and Castiel in thin t-shirts and plaid pajama bottoms, cooking a delicious- smelling meal side by side. They looked clean, as if they had just laid down and rested but something was off about them. Both Dean and Castiel's hair was thoroughly messed up. Sam had seen enough of Dean's after- sex hair during his lifetime to know that that was definitely Dean's after- sex hair.

"Guys… I can't keep myself from thinking there's something you're keeping from me. I just want you to know that I love you both and support you're decisions and everything, and we shouldn't have to keep things from each other. Something you want to say?" Sam asked very seriously, trying to seem as caring and understanding as possible.

Dean smirked. "Cas fucked me."

Castiel punched Dean's shoulder playfully but then turned to Sam to see his reaction.

Sam's mouth dropped lower than he had meant it to. He had suspicions that something had been going on between Dean and Castiel for a while. But the way Dean was so open about it all was what surprised Sam the most. Dean should feel comfortable telling Sam anything, because Sam would always support him, but he hadn't expected Dean to be so confident about it. Dean was usually sort of shy about stuff like this or didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it. "That's..um..great!"

Dean noticed how Sam was in a state of shock and just to tease him and put his arm around Castiel waist and stuck his lips against Castiel's, making sure to get his tongue into Castiel's mouth. Castiel seemed confused by Dean's action but decided to just go along with it. He liked this. It felt so right.

They didn't stop kissing until Dean realized his food was burning and shrieked. Castiel thought it was too cute and giggled at the sight of it. "Dean Winchester…the badass monster hunter with demons in his head is also a master cook who treats his food like its his baby. Unbelievable." He claimed.


	4. Chapter 4

Supernatural and it's characters are not mine

CHAPTER FOUR

There was so much going on that Sam could hardly process it all. "So..how long have you guys been...?" Sam cleared his throat.

Dean pretended to count on his fingers and Castiel giggled then replied, "Not very long. We'd like you to know that it was in our plans to tell you eventually, although I do not believe this was necessarily how we planned on informing you. But whatever works." He shrugged.

The black spoon Dean held glided along the bottom of the pan, stirring the eggs around. Thank God Cas didn't require elaborate foods that would become a pain in the ass for Dean. He doubted there was a lot of food that Castiel wouldn't accept. Dean grabbed a silver spoon and scraped a bit of the eggs off of the pan and onto the spoon and stuck it in his mouth, sucking on the spoon and slowly withdrawing it from his mouth. Castiel stared at him the whole time, licking his lips every so often without thinking about it. Oh my god he was getting a boner just from the sight of Dean alone. He calmly exited the kitchen area and once he was out of sight from Dean and Sam, ran to one of the empty rooms to take care of himself.

Dean's knuckles rapped on the brown oak door about thirty minutes later and dinner was fully set out. Even though it was two in the morning and they were serving eggs, sausage and bacon, they called it dinner. "Cas, dinner's ready. Sam wants us all to have a family-  
like meal thing. So get your pretty little ass out here soon." When he didn't get a reply, Dean turned the brass doorknob, hesitant, expecting it to be locked and surprised when he found it wasn't. He was more surprised by what was behind the door. Castiet sitting there, fully enjoying himself, jacking off. "Um..sorry..I'll just." Dean wasn't sure what to say. Honestly it was pretty hot but he knew not to interfere with another guy's personal time.

Castiel looked quite embarassed and didn't seem to be able to find his words well. "I probably should have locked the door. My apologies,  
Dean." He stopped what he was doing and stood up and put on a fresh pair of pants and directed himself to the bathroom to wash up.

Neither Dean nor Castiel said anything about it afterwards. Dean didn't want to make Castiel uncomfortable but he also wanted Cas to know that he should be comfortable doing whatever he needed.

They had only made it halfway through their meal and Castiel was burning. Castiel didn't want to make a scene so he sat there, silently suffering. He was always silent. There were so many things Castiel wanted, needed, to say, but he would never have the time or the energy or even the courage to say them all. He had plenty of things to tell Dean but he figured he'd never be able to.  
Cas' eyes widened and his fists clenched and he went on like this, chomping on his food. Out of courtesy, he waited for the boys to finish their meals and then crammed all their dirty dishes into the dishwasher. The pain was hell. It literally felt like Hell. The pain had quickly become more and more intolerable and got to the point where Castiel had layed down on his back on the kitchen tiles, trying to cool himself off and suddenly greatful for Sam's OCD cleaning habits.

"I have a surprise!" Dean's voice chimed from the back door.

At least Dean was happy. Castiel shouldn't be so selfish as to only wish that he was well and only care about his health and well-  
being. The chilling effect of the floor made Castiel hesistant to leave because he had been thoroughly enjoying laying down on it.  
Usually he wore several layers of clothing but lately he had been wearing less and less and tonight it felt delightful to be barely covered but not naked. The air hit his chest at full force when he opened the windows. Castiel needed all the cold he could get. He was sweating buckets and had to keep a towel around him at all times to mop the sweat off his face. Oh well, Dean probably wouldn't mind. Hopefully.

The coffee sitting in Cas' mug swished around and jumped when he bounced down the stairs and over to the back door. He tried to take a swig of the coffee and felt it burn his tongue for a millisecond before he spat it out. "Shit... Sam is gonna kill me." Sam was the only maid around house because he didn't trust that Dean wouldn't sleep with the maid but that was before he found out that his brother was involved with his best friend. Dean was a bisexual, but he wouldn't cheat on Castiel with some temporary maid.

A light chuckle escaped Dean when he saw the mess that Castiel had made. "Cas...Sam's gonna kill you!" he joked. Sam would be super pissed but he wouldn't go as far as hurting Castiel. Maybe. He motioned towards the glass door behind him and through it Castiel could see a triangle shaped object. It was a tent. A rather large one. "I thought maybe since we had this huge space you'd like to.. you know.. make use of it. We could have a camp out. And have smores that we'll make in the microwave and it'll be great."  
Dean grinned, very proud of himself for thinking this one up. "That is very sweet, Dean. It sounds pleasurable. Are you sure you are willing to put up with me in such a confined space for that long?" Dean looked serious. "I want to be as close to you as I possibly can. I know you're in pain and I just want to. To make it all go away. Whatever we have to do."

The tent was very cozy. It was a little toasty, which didn't help Castiel out at all but Dean later moved a mini fan in. The tent was about the size of a very small cabin, tall enough to stand up in and big enough to fit two full beds. But they only had one lone matress sitting on the floor of the tent. Dean considered getting a waterbed but wasn't sure what might happen if it popped a hole in it so he had gone for the most comfortable mattress he could find with expensive- feeling feather pillows that had silk covers. A light quilt covered most of the mattress' frame. If Cas got cold, Dean would be happy to cuddle him and warm him up. He had even gone through the trouble of moving one of those old little T.V.s into the tent on top of an old bookshelf that had a selection of Dean's favorite movies and a few chick flicks as well that Cas might enjoy.

"Um. This is. Amazing. I feel bad, is there something I am missing here? What are we celebrating?" Castiel asked, looking around in wonder at the enormousity of the tent. A person could probably live in it if they wanted to. It didn't seem like such a bad option.  
Secluded and cozy.

Dean bit his lip. Should he feel upset that Castiel didn't remember or not? "Today.. is actually the day we met. September 18th."

Castiel couldn't believe he'd forgotten. What kind of idiot forgets the day that he met the person he loved the most? "I'm very sorry,  
I guess I have been so distracted that I didn't really... notice." he cringed. This officially made him the worst boyfriend.

"Don't sweat it. You're under a lot of pressure and pain right now. But you deserve this. You do." Dean replied, taking Castiel's face in his hands. "You'll be fine. We'll do this together. I love you, Cas. We're going to get through this." But was gay love strong enough to pierce through the veil of the death and save the day this time? How would this pain affect Castiel? It may not kill him but it would definetely screw with his mind. Dean wasn't sure he could deal with crazy Cas again or pained Cas.

"Thank you. This is beautiful. I love it." he applauded Dean's masterwork. Dean looked like a child on Christmas.

"Seriously? You like it? I wanted to make it perfect for you. We haven't reallly been on a date yet so I figured this could be your anniversary present/ first date."

The two of them spent the majority of the evening snuggling on the mattress and stuffing their faces with smores that Dean had prepared in the microwave. "These are delicious sandwiches." Castiel commented.

As if they were in a chick flick, Castiel had managed to get a bit of melted marshmallow on the bridge of his nose so Dean resolved the issue by kissing it away. The two of them were so childlike together.

"Dean, you've been so careful around me lately. Trying to comfort me and help me get stronger. And even though I'm not an angel anymore, I'm still watching over you. I'll always watch over you. Some day you and Sam will be off on your own without me and be far away somewhere, dead or alive, watching over you." His words were gentle and sweet like syrup.

The hunter looked at his boyfriend and then leaned over to kiss him but ended up pressing his face into Castiel's back. Castiel knew he had to leave. But talking about it, trying to prepare Dean for it without really telling him about his plans was harder than most would imagine. "I guess you're tired. Alright. Well just rest, baby. You need it." Dean said. He wrapped his around Castiel and his head rested on the ex- angel's soft chest. It was warm and inviting. What Dean wasn't aware of was the fact that Castiel was not tired and had not gone to sleep. He was tired but just could not sleep.

A few hours later, when Castiel was sure Dean was in a deep sleep, he carefully removed Dean's arms from around him and put a pillow between them. He stood up and quietly unzipped the tent and snuck into the house through the back door. Maybe getting a yummy snuck would help him sleep. He'd have to be quick, though. Having Dean wake up and see that Castiel was gone would seriously ruin the night.

Castiel walked over to the kitchen light switch to turn them on before he realized the lights were already turned on. That would explain the absence of darkness. Sam nearly screamed when Castiel entered the kitchen looking like a hungry zombie. "Christ,  
Cas! Dude, what up with the sneaking?" Sam questioned.

Sam's hair stood up in all different directions and he was holding a cup of coffee, probably his fourth or fifth in the past hour. They were like one big insomniatic club.

"I could not sleep. Why are you up? As I remember you sleep like a log and quite often."

The moose- man was not sure whether sleeping like a log was a compliment or an insult. "Um. I just couldn't stop thinking." he explained.

"Ah. About what?"

"Nothing important." Sam didn't want to tell Castiel that he had been trying to figure out why the ex- angel was so weird lately and exactly what he was keeping from the boys. "Nothing you should worry about." It was definetely something Castiel would and should worry about it he knew what Sam was thinking about. If Sam found out anything that Castiel had been doing behind their backs, Castiel would be a dead man.

"Did you just drink all of the coffee?" Castiel exclaimed. He had grown quite accustomed to the taste of coffee and usually had it once or twice daily. It was a hard addiction to break. Not having any of it would drive Castiel insane but he couldn't drive to the store because Dean always hid his car keys within one of his thousand pockets and the junky car Sam and Castiel used when Dean was out would be too loud to even consider starting.

"Whoops. My bad. Hey how's that pain been lately? Better or worse or anything?" Sam asked, trying to switch the subject. Castiel was protective of his coffee and everyone knew that.

"It's managable. I haven't died yet, have I? It's felt a little worse but personally I believe it will gradually get worse until I reach my maximum tolerance and then it will go away."

Sam nodded and then made an excuse that he had to go check on something.

The newspaper from yesterday was neatly laid on the smaller of the two dining tables and Castiel figured he had nothing better to do so he pulled out a chair for himself and sat down at the table with a donut and what few drops of coffee there were left in the container.  
Human lifestyle was so reckless and boring. All he ever seemed to read about was deaths and sports. It didn't take much to interest humans.

"Yeah. No. He said it was worse. Yeah. Okay. But- we can't hurt him. Not yet. Garth, we haven't proven that he's actually guilty of anything yet and he hasn't done anything to harm others yet. Besides, my brother loves him. If we iced him and had no real reason to, he will never forgive either of us." Sam's voiced drifted through the air vent in his room and echoed into the dining room.

Castiel pressed his face against the vent, causing it to leave impressions on his skin and yet he pressed the side of his head as close to the opening of the vent as he could. Sam must have been talking to Garth about Castiel.

"They're going to figure out, Castiel. Better leave while you can." Metatron was next to Castiel now. But Castiel didn't even flinch,  
as if they were old friends having a casual conversation.

"Do you really think I'm just going to give up on them like that? Torture me all you want. You're not going to come between my family and I."

"Do you really think that they are your family? Please. They know you're just some poor headcase with too many issues to sort. They may act like you're their family but the truth is you'll never fit in with them. I'm just trying to save you trouble." Metatron smirked at Castiel. His words were threatening even though his voice was sweet like a song.

"Go ahead and do with me what you must, but I'm not caving in. Not like this." the ex- angel gritted his teeth together.

"Not yet you won't. But you know you can't resist me forever. The sooner you accept that, the better. Don't make me hurt your precious little pets. I will if I have to but honestly I'd like to avoid making multiple messes."

Metatron snapped his fingers and Sam's voice quit echoing around the room. "You might want to call an electrician about that.  
Seems like one of your phone lines isn't working." He grinned at Castiel and was gone in a flash.

Sam trudged down the stairs, upset. "Cas- can you go look at the wiring and see if the phone cable is damaged? The phone won't work."

Castiel nodded and headed towards the power box in the basement. He stood around in the basement for a few minutes to make it seem like he was looking at the problem then returned to Sam. "There's nothing wrong with the wiring. Perhaps we shall have to call a repair man tomorrow. Unless you'd like to try and fix it." Cas knew that this wasn't a problem Sam could fix. He'd just have to wait for Metatron to undo his work on the wires.

"You're right. Let's call a repair man tomorrow and see what we can do. God, I'm tired." Sam agreed.

They both went back to where they were sleeping Castiel replaced the pillow in Dean's arms with his slightly less warm body and buried his face into the pillows. "What have I done?" he asked himself.

CASTIEL'S DREAM:

Sam looked to Dean, alarmed. "Cas, what the hell are you doing?" the tall boy stood up, knocking his own along with several other chairs as he tried to make his way towards the ex- angel. Sam hadn't trusted Castiel very well since he had fallen from Heaven along with all the other angels besides Metatron. And if Castiel was angry, who knew what might happen or what he might do.

The door to the Winchesters' mansion of a home opened and slammed shut, Castiel leaving without another word. "Great!  
God only knows what he'll be motivated to do now!" Sam screamed at the door, really meaning to say this to Dean. Dean said nothing back, just grabbed his leather jacket and heading out the door with the keys to his Impala. After his eyes adjusted, he noticed something. His car was gone. "DAMN IT, CAS!" The little bastard had stolen his car. Dean shouldn't have shown him how to hot- wire a car yet. It had been helpful on odd occasions but it was rarely a useful skill for Castiel and now it had cost Dean his baby. Well, both of his babies.

The engine purred and the tires smoothly rolled along the recently paved road. Rocks crunched beneath the tires and the music of it, the engine purring and the rocks crunching, with owls singing, felt very relaxing to Cas. He couldn't believe it had come to this. The offer still stood and tonight Castiel would take it up. It was really his only option. Chances were he'd die either way but giving himself over was better than what harm might have ended up being placed on the Winchesters. They didn't understand this now or know any of Castiel's plans, but that was probably a good thing. They'd only try to stop him and that was NOT going to happen. It was too late.


	5. Chapter 5

Supernatural and its characters are not mine

CHAPTER FIVE:

When several beams of sunlight streamed through the tent, Castiel awoke and realized he had actually slept a little. He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up but felt disoriented. "Ugh." he groaned.

Dean unzipped the tent and brought in a tray that catered variety of yummy looking food. Yes, Castiel liked food, he decided. "I hope you're hungry, because I wasn't sure what to fix you so I sort of fixed everything we had."

Castiel grinned. "Seriously, you're too good. What's the catch?" he dug into his food as soon as Dean set it down, trying not to accidentaly stab Dean's hand with his fork during his rush to devour his meal.

"The catch is that I'm some crazy ass monster hunter who always puts his boyfriend at risk of death and emotional harm. But yeah, I supposed I'm pretty good." Dean winked at Castiel and started in on his own food.

Sam sat in the dining room, alone. He was really happy for Castiel and Dean but since they started dating each other,  
Sam had become a third wheel. If he was even acknowledged. Sometimes Dean and Cas were too involved in each other to notice Sam was in the same room as them, trying to have a nice conversation while they flirted. "Maybe today they'll actually notice that I'm around and let me in on one of their conversations." Sam thought before laughing at himself. That was a dumb thing to hope for. But perhaps it was best that Castiel and Dean spent as much time together as they could. Sam was close to fitting all the pieces together and once he did, Castiel and Dean wouldn't be anywhere near each other.

"Dean. I think we should probably talk soon. There is a pressing matter we need to discuss. But let's do that later."  
Castiel was so nervous he was sure he would chew a hole through his lip. Maybe then he wouldn't have to face telling Sam and Dean what had been going on. Yeah, that would be nice. But then things would only be more complicated.

"Okay?" Dean agreed, confused."Is everything okay?"

"For now." Castiel stood up and crossed the tent to where Dean was sitting, eating his breakfast still. He let Dean finish chewing and then took the plate from Dean and shoved it aside. He crawled into Dean's lap and pressed his lips to Dean's, his tongue sliding in and out of Dean's mouth while Dean's did the same. "I love you so much." When they had finished breakfast, they took the tent down and packed it away in the basement. Sam went off on a mysterious trip that he hadn't told anyone about and simply said he'd "be back in a few days" and requested that Dean and Castiel not get into too much trouble. Dean thought he was joking but Castiel could tell that Sam was serious. Damn, he was really set on figuring out what was going on with Castiel.

Castiel had managed to get Metatron to turn the phone lines back on and everything was fine for about a week. Sam was still gone, and Dean had guessed he was researching a case with Garth but didn't want to make Castiel and him feel like they had to go with him and give them some alone time. Castiel knew Sam was going to see Garth so they could investigate what had been happening to Castiel and the fact that he had been gone for four more days than he said he would worried Cas tremendously.

"What are you so jittery about? Sam'll be back soon I'm sure." Dean assured him although he wasn't sure why Castiel was so anxious about Sam's absence.

"I just want Sam to stay safe." that was only a half lie. If Sam did figure it all out, it would put him in danger although that wasn't necessarily what worried him. But nevertheless, he didn't want Sam to get hurt if he didn't have to. Who knows what Metatron might do to him.

"He's a big guy. Sammy can take care of himself for a little while. Meanwhile, that just leaves you and me." Dean smiled.

"And me!" Metatron's voice called out in Castiel's head. Metatron didn't have to be with Castiel in the flesh any longer since he could now barge into his mind and plant as many of his annoying comments as he wanted. Almost like having Lucifer haunt him. But worse. Because Lucifer only threatened Castiel's sanity. Metatron was threatening everything and everyone Castiel cared about.

"Right! So. What would you like to do? We've really done nothing but watch Martha Stewart re- runs this past week and while I enjoy cooking with you, do you think we could do something else?"

Dean looked at Castiel, not sure what he meant. "Like what?"

Castiel thought about this for a moment and decided on "Let's go iceskating. We've got our own frozen little pond out back that we could use so that no one has to see us together."

Next thing he knew, Castiel was in Dean's arms. "I want people to see us together. I want them to see how happy we are."

Castiel smiled. "I would like that. But you're not going to be too embarassed because I've never gone ice skating before?" he confessed.

"Never? You're going to love it! This is going to be so adorable. I'd better grab the camera."

While Dean ran upstairs to grab their digital camera, Castiel changed into jeans and a t- shirt that was barely there.

"Cas, it's like 40 degrees outside and you're barely dressed. I like it, but you're going to catch pneumonia or something." Dean sounded very motherly to Castiel. He always acted very protective of Castiel.

"I'll be fine. Remember, Dean, my insides are boiling hot. The only reason I haven't exploded yet is because-" Castiel stopped himself. This would not be a good time to explain Metatron.

"Because what?" Dean threw a scarf around his neck and looked very sassy while doing so

"Nothing. It's not of important, Dean. Are you ready? Got the camera?" He went through his mental check list to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything important. "My cocoa!" he exclaimed and ran over to the fireplace where a nice crackling fire was going and above it was two matching cups filled nearly to brim with warm sweet hot chocolate.  
Once they were ready to go, he cautiously handed Dean his cup and opened the door for them.

The public pond made for ice skating wasn't empty, not nearly but it also wasn't too full. Perfect for teaching Castiel to skate for his first time. Perfect for what Dean had planned. "Snow looks so much more fascinating through a human's eyes. Have you ever noticed that?" Castiel asked Dean.

"No, not really, Cas. Considering I've only seen through a human's eyes. I may have monsters in my head but I'm just human. Probably." Dean joked.

"Dean. I'm not sure how to fit these things on. I need help." Castiel motioned to his ice skates and Dean got out of his side of the Impala and walked over to where Castiel was sitting in the passenger seat with his door open and his ice skates sitting in their box next to him.

After they had their skates stuck on and tied, Dean guided Castiel towards the pond, catching him as he slipped multiple times. "Don't break yourself, Cas. I couldn't bare to see that." Slowly Cas got better at managing how he placed his feet until he was able to at the very least walk on his skates. He still couldn't manage riding the skates around the pond, however.  
Dean's arm curled around Castiel's waist and he let Castiel follow his lead, making sure to never let go.

After forty minutes or so, Dean felt like Castiel could probably hold himself up and skate at the same time so he loosened his grip around Castiel's waist and let go of him. Castiel was alright for about twenty seconds until he tripped over one his skates and slipped. He started to fall backwards and right before he hit the ice, Dean caught Castiel in his arms and leaned down, while everyone was watching, kissed him with so much compassion both of them nearly burst. Gasps came from all around. The city they lived in was not very heteroflexible and they didn't welcome homosexuals very often and Dean and Castiel were no excuse.

Dean removed his lips from Castiel's and striaghtened Castiel up and guided him towards the Impala. One woman in particular was disgusted at Dean and Castiel's sexuality and gave him an evil look. Dean winked at her in return. "Thanks for a good time, everybody. See you later." He called to the other citizens who had stopped and watched as Dean and Castiel left the pond, holding hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Supernatural and its characters are not mine

CHAPTER SIX:

Laughing, Dean and Castiel entered their warm and inviting home. They both smelled greatly of salt

from the ground beneath their feet. Castiel remembered that he had something he wanted to tell

Dean. Actually, he had no desire to tell Dean, but he needed to tell Dean. The longer he went

ignorant of their situation, the worse it became. "Dean, there is something that we need to talk

about" Castiel announced as soon as they had stripped of their coats and scarves.

Dean flashed Castiel a grin, unaware of what he was about to say. "Sure! But first, should I make

us some soup? I bought some new ingredients and I really think-" Cas couldn't wait any longer

and put his hand over Dean's mouth, silencing him. Dean's brows furrowed in confusion. "Cas,

what are you doing?" his words were muffled against Castiel's warm hand.

Castiel took Dean's hand and led him to the couch, trying to figure out what hew as going to tell

Dean. Where to start. "There's something I've been- something. Something I've been keeping from

you. A-and Sam." he could barely choke out his words. They wanted to stay inside his mouth, safe

from anger, hurt and most of all, judgment. "It's something I should've informed you of long ago

but I wasn't sure how to tell you." The human Castiel that was laid back and care-free had

disappeared. The Castiel that Dean had always seen before Heaven's fall had returned. This Castiel

was serious by default and didn't take matters lightly. It had to be something horrible for Cas to act

that way, Dean knew.

"Please. Tell. me. I promise-" Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. "I will always love you, Cas.

Always. I always have and I always will."

The hunter's boyfriend took a deep breath, gulped and said only one word, "Metatron".

"What about Metatron?" Dean asked, not sure what Castiel meant.

"He's been... trying to contact me. That's why I'm in p-pain all the time." the blue- eyed man

sobbed.

"What the hell does that bastard want, now?! I'll find him and I will end him. Where is he?" Dean

demanded.

"I don't know. He's everywhere! He's just like Lucifer. He's in my head all the time, but he's real.

This time he's not just a horrific hallucination, he's actually there. And if I'm not careful he- he's

going to take you away from me!"

"Hell no he won't! If he even comes near you I swear to God- the things I will do to him." Dean

kicked the coffee table, shattering it in pieces on the floor. "Damn it! Sam's gonna- he's gonna-"

Dean was attempting not to cry. He'd tried so hard to protect Cas. And Metatron had completely

broken down every single wall Dean had set up around himself and Castiel.

"Leave it be. Sam can clean it up."

"No! Sam already has enough messes to clean up without me adding this to the pile." Castiel

knew that Dean didn't mean physical messes. There was so much that Sam had done for the both

of them. He'd been the volunteer clean up committee when they'd been too tired or lazy to bother

cleaning up their own messes.

Castiel picked up the broken bits of glass and accidentally drew blood from his palm. "Ugh."

he groaned. More shit on the carpet. "Whatever." They were probably going to have to get the

floors re- carpeted soon. Not that they had they money for that. But they had enough blood stains

in it already.

"Cas, why are you cleaning this up? It's my mess!" Dean shouted angrily.

"No, Dean, it's not. I started it, I'll clean up the effects." Their eyes met and Dean glared at

Castiel.

"It's not your mess. Now just get the hell out of here and let ME clean it up. There's no need for you

to get hurt anymore." He sounded like a jerk, yes, but he only cared for Castiel. And he wasn't a

kid, he could deal with his own problems.

"I'm going to help you through these messes because I love you and I'm here for you

to lean on for the whole ride, just like you said you were. Do you- you remember that?" Castiel

stammered. Everything disappeared and suddenly it was just Castiel and Dean. "You told me that

you'd be here with me the whole way through. And I appreciate that, but I don't want you to treat

me like a child just because some angel is picking on me."

"It wouldn't bother me as much if he weren't the only angel left. He's got tremendous power

over you. And I'm not going to let lonely angel fucking play with your mind for fun. You're

not some chew toy for him, Cas. I'm not going to let Metatron separate us. He won't hurt you."

The next thing Dean heard brought a wave of shock over his face.

"DEAN, DON' TYOU SEE HE'S ALREADY FUCKING HURTING ME. I'M ALREADY IN A HELL

OF A LOT OF PAIN. IT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO DEAL WITH, AND NOTHING CAN STOP HIM.

BECAUSE I WON'T LET HIM HAVE WHAT HE WANTS JUST SO THAT I CAN STOP MY OWN

PAIN, DAMN IT!" The words spat into Dean's face were like a gust of heavy wind, ready to

knock. Dean seriously upset. And he'd obviously run out of hope. "I'm done. I'm done trying. I'm

done struggling. I'm done with it all!"

Dean stood frozen as Castiel grabbed the keys to the Impala and one of Dean's old jackets

and slammed the main door shut behind him. What was he doing?! Why wasn't he chasing

after Cas?! He couldn't think of an answer, so he just stood at the door and listened to the

rumble of his car and the sound of the tires becoming reality. He was running away. It was

for the best, wasn't it? The boys were safer this way. It would be easier to just kill himself

than to go through this. Killing himself sounded amazing. An escape. However, although

Castiel would love to leave this Earth, even if his escape was Hell, he couldn't. Because he'd

assured Dean many years ago that'd he'd watch over him. And that didn't stop.

A week after Castiel left, Sam arrived home. The house was a complete garbage pile.

There was food everywhere, the dishes were in a giant unwashed pile, there were dirty

clothes strewn over all the furniture. "Dean!" Sam dropped his things by the door and climbed

the stairs, finding Dean in Castiel's room, lying on his bed sobbing. "What the hell happened

in here?" Dean barely looked up.

He- h-he's g-g-gone, Sam! He left!" he spoke between heavy sniffles.

Sam's eyes widened. "Cas is gone?" he asked, even though he knew that was what Dean meant.

Dean nodded his head and Sam ran over to the bed where Dena was sobbing and sat on the edge.

He sat Dean up and pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Dean. Did he tell you why?" Sam knew

about it. He'd already figured it out.

Dean nodded again. "Me-Metatron. is following him around. Torturing him. Trying to make him

some sick deal that would end Cas' pain. But he didn't tell me what Metatron wanted. He

just! He left!" Sam patted Dean's back.

"We'll figure this all out, okay? Have you called Castiel?" Sam asked, smoothing the wrinkles on

Dean's shirt. It was obvious he hadn't bothered to do much clothe- washing lately or ironing

anything he had that might have been fairly clean.

"He left all of his things here. Well most of them. He took my jacket and the Impala. And he

took one more thing." Dean stopped, trying to return his breathing to normal. He sucked in

air in sharp gasps, unable to control it.

"What did he take?"

"The ring I gave him the night we slept in the tent. And every photo I had of the two of us

besides the one in my wallet but it's all wrinkly." Dean moaned.

Sam hugged his older brother while rubbing his back. He wasn't sure whether the be

glad or sad that Castiel had left. It had broken his brother's heart but it was for the Winchester's

safety.

Five months passed. Dean would call any phone number that might reach Castiel but never

got an answer from Cas and went to anyone he thought might know where Castiel was. He

missed his baby and he also missed his Impala.

Dean looked out his window everyday because he was too lazy to actually go outside. The tree's

lost their leaves, the ground was topped with snow. Everyday a man in a hoodie would walk by

his house with a fat, fluffy cat on a leash. It must be the man who moved in down the street.

He never seemed to actually come out of his house except for his daily walks with his cats.

All he knew about the man was that he was in his late 30's or early 40's and he didn't have a

job because he'd inherited a huge fortune from his wealthy parents. No one had much other

knowledge of him.

One day while Dean was sleeping, a note was left on his door. Sam found it and dropped

it off by Dean's bedroom door smiling. "Dean there's something here for you!"

He rubbed his eyes and slowly stood up. When he walked by his mirror, he saw himself

for the first time in weeks. His hair looked awful and he had black rings around his eyes.

Dean cracked his door open, barely letting the light inside. It was just enough light to make

the note visible.

"My cat can't quit staring at you either ;)" it read.

Dean smiled and chuckled. Notes from a secret admirer. He hadn't gotten any of those since

high school. He had forgotten how good it felt to get them. But he wasn't over Castiel, so there

was no way that this could lead to a new relationship, right?


	7. Chapter 7

Supernatural and its characters are not mine.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have split Chapter seven into smaller portions and will be posting them separately but they will follow each other shortly]

CHAPTER 7 PART 1

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. That's how it goes, right? ;) "

"Hey, you okay?"

"I understand that neither of us really know each other but I was hoping that we might actually meet some time. Just lemme know if you agree."

"Okay, so you obviously think I'm a creeper by now. Maybe I should've started out by bringing cookies to your door and asking for your warm welcomes to the neighborhood or something. But I still think we should be friends."

"Sorry you can't stare at my ass tomorrow, won't be out walking. The cat's sick or something. Gotta take him to the vet. But have no fear, I'll be back soon. "

"Look, you've been a hermit this entire time and you never go outside. Not that I'm staring at you or anything, my house isn't in any position that would make that possible since I only see you- or your house, rather- when I go walking. But if you want to actually meet up sometime, I'm just a short drive, about three miles down. I'm sure you'll be able to find my house easy. I've got the kick- ass garden."

Dean now had a pile of notes, all from the mysterious person that walked their cat by his house nearly every day. Even though he'd never admit it, he found a guilty pleasure in receiving them. It had been a routine thing, he'd sleep in late and walk outside later to find a fresh note on his doorstep. Sam and Dean never said anything to each other about it but silently recognized it. Mainly because Dean had never replied to any of them. How could he? He knew nothing about this person, only that they lived three miles away and walked their cat every day past his house. For awhile he fantasized about the idea of this person walking three miles everyday just to see him, or his house, whichever, but brushed it off almost as soon as it formed. It was stupid to think anything like that would happen to him.

"Just write him back, dork." Sam said out of the blue the morning of the latest note. They had been eating some vegetarian meal that Sam said in his effort to get Dean back in shape.

"Wait- how do you know that it's not a chick?" Dean asked, suddenly aware of the world outside of his mind. He stabbed the sausage beneath him and stuffed it into his mouth, staring Sam down until he answered.

"I don't, but it seems like it from the way they write." He shrugged, pushing his now- empty plate away from him.

"Just because they have messy handwriting they can't be a girl?" he asked, his voice showing hints of some type of offense.

Sam was taken aback and wasn't quite sure what to say. "I- I didn't mean that… I just didn't think you'd want it to be from a…." he bit his lip "I didn't think that you'd be interested if it was from a girl." He finished.

Dean got up, carrying both of their plates and sliding them into the sink, rinsing them off lazily and sticking them into the drying rack. He didn't care to look at Sam as he replied "Just because I was with Cas doesn't mean I can't appreciate a girl with good taste." He rolled his eyes and sauntered off.


End file.
